Broadcast Brian

Just for posterity:
“This race is shakier than cafeteria Jell-O.”
“Things are getting hotter than a Times Square Rolex.”
“This thing is as tight as the rusted lugnuts on a ‘55 Ford.”
(When Georgia is called for Clinton in 1992)”Clinton is off to a start, rolling like a big wheel through a Georgia cotton field.”
“This race is tight like a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride home from the beach.”
“He swept through the South like a tornado through a trailer park.”
“Don’t bet the trailer money on it yet.”
“It’s a ding-dong battle back and forth.”
“Look at that. Can’t get a cigarette paper between ‘em.”
“His chances are slim to none right now, and if he doesn’t carry Florida, Slim will have left town.”
“If a frog had side pockets, he’d carry a hand gun.”
“You would sooner find a tall talking broccoli stick to offer to mow your lawn for free.”
“Turn the lights down, the party just got wilder.”
“It’s cardiac-arrest time in this presidential campaign.”
“It’s too early to say he has the whip hand.”
“It’s about as complicated as a wiring diagram to some dynamo.”
“This election swings like one of those pendulum things.”
“This will show you how tight it is - it’s spandex tight.”
“Al Gore has his back to the wall, shirt tails on fire with this race in Florida.”
“Smelling salts for all Democrats please.”
“Maybe you can bring some perspective on this, we’re plumb out.”
“When the going gets weird, anchor men punt.”
“She didn’t go to school just to eat her lunch.”